Same-sex marriage, gay agenda, election year, blah blah...

Tolver and I have celebrated our relationship publicly four times during our 23 years. The first, a DIY event for 70 of our friends and acquaintances, in a back yard, in Austin Texas, in 1987; the second, joining others in San Francisco, in 1996, for the first Domestic Partnerships in the country, and then again in 1997, when those rights were expanded to the state level in California; and the fourth, on Valentine's Day of 2004 when we were issued a wedding certificate by the county of San Francisco, later to be annulled by the state.

Now that there may be same-sex marriage again in California, will we return to go again?

No. We have a piece of paper that says we are already married, no need to go do that again
- just to have it taken away from us again,
- just to be used as pawns in the political game again,
- just to demand recognition from those not a part of our lives in any way.

It is only an issue because it is the political season, not because the right thing to do is recognize everybody's relationships as equal. Before the piece of paper, during the piece of paper, and after the piece of paper - our feelings towards each other have never changed. At 22 and a half years now, few our age have matched us in commitment. We won, no need to gloat or demand special favor.

Marriage Equality is a quagmire. Marriage is an out-dated institution that should be replaced with specific social contracts defining financial and care cooperation among individuals.

For almost 3 years now, Tolver and I have worn our collars as a symbol of our commitment. The collars make our relationship story special again, without the political overtones. We're obviously fated to work on the cutting edge of alternative family relationships, so now our calling is more toward the extended family.

Labels: Our Queer Family

link | posted by Reese at 11:43 AM

1 Comments:

 Ziggy commented:

As one of the guests at that 1987 ceremony, I've got to say that it's wonderful to see a couple looking as happy as you two do after almost 23 years! Kudos for making such a fantastic life for yourselves, and I'm glad to see you in such a beautiful place (metaphorically as well as literally speaking). -Ziggy

» Thursday, June 12, 2008 11:15:00 AM 

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