The Winter Solstice passes this week. Like it was when I was a child with Xmas, the winter Solstice tends to encompass the week before and after the actual day. This year, the annual solstice party that we attend will actually be on Xmas Eve, a couple of days after the solstice event. This will be my tenth anniversary solstice with the house of the Golden Bull, and that has got me to reflect on my first solstice with Marty and the house. I do remember meeting Marty at my first solstice, in 1996, but I mostly remember meeting the house. You see, I believe that memory can work both ways; from the past, and from the future; and at that first meeting I felt as comfortable at the house as though it was just another room in my own home. So, I knew I would be spending a lot of time there. I was right. But first I'd like to talk about that first Solstice party.
We had been in San Francisco for just over a year, and I was beginning to be very secure in my new career, but I didn't feel that I had yet found my place. Tolver, having found the house a few weeks before, came home with an invite to this big party happening there for the solstice. Without really knowing what we were in for we showed up. At the door, we were each handed a paper bag into which all of our clothes were to go during the party. Right at that moment I had to make a decision that would change my life completely; so I put aside all of my body image insecurities and undressed. For those of you who have never been to such an event, you probably understand when I admit to having never been in a place full of naked people before; it was frightning, trilling, disgusting, exciting, it made me feel vulnerable and unsure, curious and adventuresome, all at the same time. But most importantly it was equalizing. As the house filled (to a crowd of over 300 that night) I found joy in being average. It was overwhelming. When seen au natural everyone becomes the same as well as unique.

Back then, the house hosted a weekly gathering on Tuesday, as well, and the Tuesday following the Solstice Party was Xmas day. Tolver and I went to enjoy the hottub and escape the Xmas spirit, and found ourselves two of about twelve people that showed up that night. It was very family, and I believe all twelve of those people are still a part of my circle of friends. I felt the house take me in, and I became a part of the house. Since then I have assisted in the hosting of gatherings and parties there, sometimes as often as every weekend. Marty has become one of the best friends that I have ever had. I have also contributed my technical skills to the house, and with Marty, built the computers and media systems for the house, wired and wireless networking, and was even there the day the new carpet went in to lay wires under it. The house has been the center of my social life, the people that I have met there have been from all walks of life, and I feel that I learn something about the world and myself almost every time I am there.

There are many gatherings held at the house, but the Winter Solstice remains my favorite. Winter Solstice has come to mean to me a time of re-birth, a chance to start new, but also, and as importantly, a chance to end what was.

link | posted by Reese at 3:46 PM

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